Healing is Relational


Healing is relational. What makes something traumatic is not the event, it’s how we relate to it. Do we detest it and push it away? Do we accept it as an opportunity to grow? Growth is a process of becoming ourselves.


When a healer attempts or claims to have removed something from your field or body without helping you deeply understand and appreciate your relationship to it they are doing you a disservice. They are denying you an opportunity to understand yourself and how big you really are. All that happens is that you will be triggered again a few weeks later by anything that comes in again with that same vibration. This is good for the healer because you’ll come back and pay them. But is this good for you?


What makes something traumatic is not the event, it’s how we relate to it.

The darkest of clouds are not there to swamp you. They may feel all consuming but understand what they are teaching and holding. Listen to the way they call you in, to connect and build relationship to them. The darkest of clouds that have kept you feeling small hold huge amounts of energy, they are waiting for you to tap into this energy and reintegrate it. The storms are there to show you how to dance in the rain.


The deeper you relate to yourself the quicker the healing process becomes. Therapy is about showing a client how they relate to themselves, their body, their heart, their family, their world and inviting them into a deeper, fuller relationship. This brings perspective of the whole.


The deeper you relate to yourself the quicker the healing process becomes.

When I work with my clients and something strong comes up I ask them what they want to do. It’s not my work to assume, I have to understand them.


Often the answer is “get rid of it” and then there will be a pause whilst they wait for me to do something.


Why? I ask.


Because it hurts they say. Because it’s too big. Because they’re tired. Because it scares them. Because it’s destroying them.


I understand.


I’ve been there. I’ve found myself screaming, get it out, get me away from it, take it away. It’s too much. Because in that moment, it feels like that. I get it. But nothing goes away when we try to kick it away. That’s rejection. Rejecting ourselves is what creates pain and disconnection.


If a healer says ok, and “takes it away” with some magic spell or transmission or mantra or prayer or whatever tool they’ve acquired to construct their identity, momentarily you may feel relief. But you still haven’t realised that you are even bigger than the giant dark cloud. That you are actually the sky that holds the cloud. That you are the cosmos that cradles the sky. Energy cannot be created or destroyed. It can only be transmuted. Don’t ask me to take anything away. Don’t ask me to take your power away and keep you small.


Healing is a journey of creating clarity of space and realising the purpose of pain. It is a journey of self expansion into infinite space. Space holding is an art of painting the form in the formless.


Healing is a journey of creating clarity of space and realising the purpose of pain.

If a client cannot create space from the cloud around them because it is too heavy I will create an opportunity for them to witness through their field, movement within the cloud. Now and again, not often, I will go in to create the movement. To dance in their storm. Energetically, this means some relationship is being built where relationship has been cut off. Their soul recognises that someone can relate therefore it can’t be that scary.


Movement within density creates movement and movement can then create space. Where there is a feeling of ever pervading “stuckness” there can instead be “stuckness but a knowing that movement is possible”


All the energy spent holding, feeding and fighting the shadows is your warrior strength waiting to be unlocked. Nobody does this except you.


You might think the angels or masters do it. You might think the shaman and their jaguars do it. Maybe you think the healers hands and heightened powers does it. As long as you believe healing comes from anything except you, you are giving your power away.


Everything you admire, in awe and wonder, is within you. Everything you want to push away and get rid of is an aspect of you. You may not like it or understand it. But that’s because you are not intimate with it. Intimacy is a deep knowing and full appreciation. The language of intimacy is a deep bow of gratitude.


As long as you believe healing comes from anything except you, you are giving your power away.

I work with clients who have often journeyed with many practitioners, many plants and many masters. They are still seeking. Part of it is because it is so utterly unbelievable to believe in your own power and vastness. It doesn’t sit well in the small boxes society has constructed to help you manage your relationships and identity.


As you get bigger, and integrate more of yourself into yourself, you will arrive in a place of creating your own world. This is a place of peace and contentment. And it is within every human being, within reach, within the heart.


If you'd like to work with me on my 1-1 programme get in touch safa@kimiyahealing.co.uk


I also run 2 free online groups:


WOMB ROOM - for those looking to deepen connection to WOMB both physical and spiritual

THERAPY TRIBE - therapists working by distance with clients