My client had spent a lifetime trying to release herself from the internal terror of sustained childhood sexual abuse, a serious head injury that almost killed her, substance abuse and addictions and the feeling of depression, constant self doubt and deep within her, an unspeakable shame. This shame reflected in a core belief that she was not worthy, was less than others, was not deserving of life and that nothing would ever work out well for her. She felt thoroughly undeserving.
This had affected her ability to progress her career. Ironically she had trained to be a therapist herself but just felt unable to sit in the seat or grow a practice. Deep down she felt held back by some unspeakable force within her that she couldn't break through.
She had attempted various forms of therapy since her teenage years to try to move forward. Each and every time she was unable to break through the fear and terror held in her body. She had only ever experienced talking therapy and whilst she was now, at 55, well able to self reflect on her past, she was unable to feel a sense of resolution or change within her. Despite having a loving family and husband and wearing a big smile around friends and family, she felt alone and rarely felt joy or connected to her body.
The healing programme consisted of a combination of dialogical work, guided imagery, inner child integration, somatic trauma release, emotional healing and structural work on her spine, hips and cranium.
The most potent sessions she had involved strong emotional releases of tears and pain, particularly as her liver began to release decades of suppressed rage. Over the years this had been internalised and she had lived a life of quite literally, taking it out on herself. This is often what happens with survivors of childhood sexual trauma.
As six sessions went by she started to be able to feel more deeply into her body and regulate her own nervous system. She broke through the fear barrier and realised it was actually just protecting her from going deeper into her own emotions.
She offered a deep purge of her long held shame and self hatred to the great oak tree that she often visited on her forest walks. This was her source of strength, peace and safety, the holding that she never had as a child.
As she faced and healed the sexual abuse and the shame that had plagued her from a child, a deeper sense of who she truly was began to emanate through her.
She became more confident in herself, her self worth improved and she began to meditate and ground herself on a daily basis as well as journal. After just a number of weeks she was pain free and able to feel love within herself, for herself. In the final session, a woman who always felt inferior to other women had reclaimed her feminine power and danced under the stairs with the mighty oak tree standing just as tall as she was.
Client reflections after session 1/6 of her 1-1 Healing programme:
‘I hadn't considered distance therapy...surely it couldn't be as potent or beneficial. Oh how wrong was I? First I tried Safa's distance group therapy healing. I was amazed at the releasing that happened during that group session. Deep healing from deep within. The depths of spaciousness I felt within my internal world, and the soothing balm sent by Safa and the universe was felt by all of us in that group I should imagine. I was beyond intrigued. I then did the 10 day womb room. I cannot recommend this enough if you are ready to to connect with yourself deeply.
Safa holds a safe, powerful space. I knew I was being 'held' in non judgement, the safest of spaces. I have no fear with Safa. I feel her unconditional love. I can be me. I came face to face with my shadows. I met them full on, the trauma, the fear, shame, the terror, the toxic energy surrounding them.
The toxins and tensions were discarded from every part of me. They flushed and gushed out of me. My body moved and writhed around in the releasing. let go like I've never let go before. Safa held space for me throughout and liberated all this negative, unwanted, old, energy from me. I released and let go of everything that was no longer needed. Safa was focused and rooted and stayed by my side whilst finally every last drop of the murky dirty water was released.
I could not have ever imagined this calmness and newness. As I write this I'm sending love and healing to every cell and organ in my body! I'm self reflecting and building an awareness of myself that is brand new.
If you are ready to be the best version of yourself, if you are ready to cut through the layers of bullsh*t, then connect with Safa. She reminds you of who you truly are.’
I am so so proud of her for stepping into the deep, the dark, the fear and for letting it happen for her. I am so proud that she never gave up on herself and she reclaimed the power that was taken from her before she could even speak. Her courage and determination is not just an inspiration to me but to the whole world. To every woman and man who has suffered as a child, because of the actions of another person. Who had to live with the imprint of that on everything they do. Nobody knows the journey an individual goes on to survive. But now her journey is no longer about surviving, it’s about thriving. I have no doubt she is moving into her magic and the world better get ready for her!
P.S. If you’re ready to dive deeper you can
1. Work with me privately in a transformational journey to heal the root causes of trauma and pain.
2. Heal yourself in these self paced courses at the School of Healing Alchemy 3. Tune into the Kimiya Healing podcast on Spotify or itunes